Originally Posted by newme
I agree it is his burden to prove that I should trust him. But without opportunities to show he's not lying how can we build trust? KWIM? Those opportunities seem to be getting to know other people and starting down the poly path sense thats where the mistrust is. I am at a loss about how to build trust again. For 19 years I have trusted him because there was no reason not to. I don't know how you rebuild it. I feel like I am controlling him by not trusting him and I hate that feeling.
You're not controlling him. Kind of the opposite. He's got you fixated as a result of his untrustworthy actions. If he were showing an honorable character all along, you wouldn't be here posting on this forum, most likely. So to me it looks like you're doing the heavy lifting to accomodate
him. And yet you feel like you're controlling things? Ha!