I just want to send you hugs.
I remember when Maca was telling me that it was too much, trying to learn poly while still healing from the pain of GG and I cheating on him.
VERY valid issue.
But, my redhead love is much like you, and with time and effort we managed the transition. It WOULD have been so much easier for him AND the rest of us if GG and I hadn't broken his trust and his heart first.
I am SURE it would be easier for you if Mono hadn't broken your trust and your heart first.
Take some time, work on yourself, give yourself the love and space you need. Take some walks by the water, they always make you feel better.
Vent when you need.
Cry when you need.
Laugh when you are ready.
Most of all-remember, you do have friends who love you and care for you and are willing to listen, support and help in any way we can.
"Love As Thou Wilt"