When someone has a history of lying, it's not so easily stopped, even if they want it to. It is a habit, that takes years to fully break. In my husband's case, it's a habit he has spent 44 years perfecting and only recently made a conscious effort to change. When he is stressed, he falls back into old habits. I may never trust him completely again (cheating through us into counceling), but I watch for indications of lies and deception and try to call him on things up front to help break his habit. I also have to play 20 questions way too often for my liking. He is starting to volunteer more information without prompting nowadays, but he struggles with it.
The way I saw this incident, OP's husband was on autopilot until he got home and then fessed up immediately. He should get some credit that he could do this without being prompted, if in the past he would have never said anything. That this is still damaging to the ability to re-gain some trust - absolutely and the OP should say as much to her husband.
Last edited by SNeacail; 05-08-2013 at 11:09 PM.