Originally Posted by newme
My biggest difficulty right now is trust with DH. He came clean about an affair he had with M about 6 months ago. But now I am constantly wondering who he is texting, if he telling the truth where he is going and just generally not trusting him. I was good for a couple of months and really trying hard to trust him. He kept telling me he had no reason to lie or hide things because we were being so honest with each other. So I grasped on to that and tried to trust him. But then DH recently lied to me about going to dinner with M. He didn't tell me about it before hand because he thought I would freak. He did tell me immediately afterwords tho. I find this to be a set back for me and once again I am struggling with trust all over again. I am trying to find the strength in myself to trust him again but its difficult when I feel like the trust has been broken over and over. He knows he screwed up and realizes he should have told me to begin with. i know there will be ups and downs and we will both make mistakes.
WOW, this sounds familiar
. BTDT OK, still going through episodes of something similar. Not too long ago, I flipp'n freaked when I found out (from another party) that husband outright lied to me about his out of town trip. He said it was for work, when it was with a group of friends. It took me two days to finally just make peace with certain facts. He will do it again, he's done it for 20 years and likely to his family for 20 years prior to me, it's not going to stop now, it is so ingrained in him that it's going to take an act of God to permanently change his habits. The question I now ask myself (before flipping out
) "Does it change my reality?" In this case, it didn't. I did tell him, that he just destroyed the trust we had just spent a year and a half re-building. Was it worth it?