Oh, I didn't know the background... that he has been given permission to have casual sex with men, but falling in love with another woman is a big ol threat to his primary.
I went through this same scenario a few years back. The wife was seemingly semi OK with me in her husband's life at first, but kept putting up roadblocks-- wait til spring when his seasonal affective disorder ended, wait til he found a better job, wait til they got certain home improvements done. Finally when we all met and talked, it came out that she only wanted him to have anonymous Craigslist sex with random guys.
I was glad to finally get the clarity! Plenty of other fish in the sea for me! Yes, the guy in question was all romantic and full of major regrets to lose me. Feh. I need a man with balls and respect and the ability to love others, a true poly guy. Thanks anyway, dude, and have fun with your meaningless MM sex.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
There's no lying in polyamory!
I'm a 58 year old woman with 2 partners:
miss pixi, my live-in gf, 36 (together since Jan '09)
Ginger, bf, 61, married, lives nearby (together since Jan '12)