Originally Posted by redpepper
Hmmm... We have gotten to the point where I have been able to point out to him the benefits of losing. They are that it means he can work on increasing his skills to beat me and use that losing feeling to do better. Maybe I should talk to him about how we could change the rules so we both win. A life lesson through games I had never thought of.
That's an interesting insight. It also speaks to something that gets spoken of a lot in that most people have come to the realization that the best relationships just 'happen'. There's a component of the whole search process that attaches to our natural competitive natures. It's sets up the whole win/lose environment (even within ourselves) and once that ball starts rolling it seems something always get's ......lost.
I had in the past been heavily involved (for about 15 yrs) in coaching youth sports teams. In this environment you always hear all the praises sung of lessons learned about winning, losing, self improvement etc through competition. However in the end I gave it up. I came to the conclusion after watching how some of these supposed 'lessons' got carried forward into life that there was as much distortion and harm as benefit. Competition itself breeds it's own poison. I became an advocate of banishing scoreboards ! Focus on the flow of the game. Your own skills. The enjoyment of it. When it's over you can't help but of learned some things about yourself, others and the game in general. That way everyone wins. Keeping score only changes the focus.