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Old 05-07-2013, 08:08 AM
ManofDiscovery ManofDiscovery is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NW England
Posts: 113

Originally Posted by RiverRose View Post
I have no idea how to use the quote function on this site, so here goes nothing lol.

Anyway, it was the above section of your message which worried me hun. I'm sure your boyfriend loves you and cares for you, but he should know that it's not very considerate to let you worry about him like that. I hope he realises that it wasn't fair of him to do that. What if you had gotten really worried and called the police? I've had the same argument with my husband before, and now if he's going to be out for a lot longer than planned he lets me know. All I want is to know that he's safe.
You did a good job with your first attempt at quoting - you should be very proud

Anyway I agree with this and I would say that this extends way beyond poly. This is just common decency - whether he was with a girl or not, even if he got drunk and stayed with a guy friend on his sofa, you'd still expect a call, or a text at least just to say that he's ok and he's not coming home.

One thing that struck me is that you and this 'B' girl see what you're doing differently.

The way I read it, you're creating rules such as 'no more than 3 nights, and you must be home by 2pm', not as a permanent rule, but just as a temporary thing in an attempt to protect yourself while you get used to the idea of your man staying overnight with another woman.

I'm not sure she realises this though, and she probably just sees this as you trying to control their relationship.

Perhaps if you tried to explain to her that isn't necessarily a permanent arrangement, but you want them both to be understanding towards you while you get your head around it, it might get a better reaction.

I think that would be quite reasonable 'this is where I'm at right now, and this is what I need currently to feel comfortable with the situation'.
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