Originally Posted by Scissors
No one did. Assuming this
post is the one you're referring to, the poster said the boyfriend behaved "in a cowardly way". The two are not the same: there's actually a big difference.
Not that I don't agree with the general sentiment of your message, WhatHappened, nor am I picking on you. But it's just as bad to put words in other people's mouths then claim them as not being "understanding" as being quick to judge in the first place. On a board like this that stresses good communication skills, we need to be accurate in our own.
Thank goodness we have time to split hairs. Especially hairs that don't impact the sentiment of my message at all, with which you agree. I personally regard behavior as indicative of character. People who behave in kind ways are kind. People who behave in cowardly ways are cowards. Our actions actually do reveal us. I'm fully aware that a person who is typically courageous may behave in a cowardly way in one instance.
But seriously...this is worth hijacking a thread for? To make sure I word things exactly as you would have me word them? To make sure I regard things exactly as you regard them?
Because the fact remains, whether you say someone is
a coward or someone behaved in a cowardly way
, it's a criticism, it's a negative. And my point, with which you agree, is that casting someone in a negative light in your own mind, when there may well be a more positive explanation, tears down relationships.