Thank you so much for this! I will certainly look into this method and talk with her about it. I'll report back
You know, it is so helpful hearing your insights about the distancing behavior. Part of how I'm responding to her with the (perhaps overzealous) checking in is that I was under the assumption on some level that she was pulling away in the hopes that I would push back. She has said something along these lines to me before, and she has also told me that she has the tendency to 'ruin things' (her words) by placing this distance, which people react too with more distance, and it creates too much space to bounce back from. That's part of why this scares me, as I really deeply care about this girl. As people have mentioned here, including you, I will try to be more clear and upfront about where that is coming from, what it means, and if she truly needs more space or if she is somehow expecting me to overcompensate for her distance. Not that I will keep doing that if it's what she's searching for, but if we can talk about it directly maybe, as you say, we can work on it together.
Thank you so much!