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Old 05-05-2013, 08:11 PM
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RiverRose RiverRose is offline
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: South Wales
Posts: 28
Default Hi!

I'm RiverRose, otherwise known as Kim. My husband and I live in Wales in the UK, and we have a little boy of 7 months. We've known each other for 9 years, and been married for 2 and a half of those years. We were at university when we met. Being both a bit geeky we bonded over such things as Lord of the Rings (book and film) and Star Trek/Star Wars.

We were always mono until now. Until this year I was not even aware that such a thing as polyamory even existed. I thought that I would be with just one person forever. Then in the latter half of 2011, I developed a crush on a friend. I find it hard to be anything but honest, and so I found myself confessing this crush to first my husband and then the man in question. They both instantly assumed that I was confessing because I wanted to cheat with this man. I absolutely did not intend for any such thing to happen, I just tend to wear my heart on my sleeve in matters of romantic love.

I hoped that this crush would just fade, but to my horror it started to deepen. Eventually I opened up to my husband about it. Then I had an epiphany and realised that you can love more than one person, and that it's not wrong to do so as long as you are honest and take into account everyone's feelings on the matter. When I discovered the existence of polyamory I stopped feeling guilty, and accepted that I am just a very emotional person who has a lot of love to give. Sadly the man I have feelings for will never consider me as he thinks I am ugly. Besides he appears to be mono, and has a girlfriend now. I shouldn't really be so sad because as a person he comes across as rather selfish and thoughtless. I get the feeling that he thinks I'm silly, and he has tended to brush my efforts at friendship aside. I even made similar efforts towards his girlfriend to show him that I didn't resent her, but she brushed them aside too (don't think she knows about the crush).

Recently, my husband and I joined a site to search for people to have experiences with. However, it's rather sex based. Not really appropriate when it's the emotional connections (both romantic and platonic) that I'm really searching for. My husband is Aspergers, and so he has trouble understanding my need for connections with other people. He is very supportive though, and is happy for us to explore polyamory and see if it suits us.

Anyway, nice to meet you all!

Kim.
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