well, that was pretty wonderful.
We talked (and drank
) for 4 hours, it was amazingly relaxed. She is a lovely, warm and open woman.. and it was great to see them together, and feel that he and I are also 'together' even if in a different way. We talked a lot about poly, about family, society, being different, growing up.. it was all very open and wonderful and warm. MrB got up from his seat a couple of times (we were sitting at a small, square table, on 3 different sides, which felt very nice and 'equal') to give us both a big smoochy kiss. I went out for a smoke with him at one point and we just looked at each other and said 'how wonderful is this' and he went out to make a phone call and she and I continued talking and connecting.
There was this very slight moment of ... not really awkwardness, maybe a little like feeling unsettled, when we left and after giving big hugs goodbeye they walked in one direction together and I went the other way. But that was only very brief, and almost insignificant.
When I got home I immediately texted C... i have to admit that was a little manipulative. but one of the reasons the night was so perfectly timed and had made me feel so good was because of the whole business with C and Molly, who doesn't want to know about me or meet me. And I guess I wanted to show him 'look it could be like this...'
Anyway, that's not up to me. I just felt really loved and accepted.
One of the nicest things was the way she responded when I told her things about my life and the people in it.. I mentioned names and she said " oh I know all those names, we talk about you and your life you know!" and that made me feel so good. He talks about her with me, bot casually and about their relationship, and it felt so right, and balanced, that he shares his relationship with me, with her.
Have a date with BGuy tomorrow. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I have a little cold which is distracting, and I also haven't been feeling very sexual lately.. and since this is a meeting of friends who will then have sex, maybe it's not a good time. On the other hand, I really like him, he's easy to talk to, and he makes me feel good about myself (both intellectually and physically). Maybe I'm just a little worried that I feel too vulnerable to have 'no strings attached' sex right now? even if it's only heavy making out, no PIV sex?
I'll see what this day brings and how I'm feeling tomorrow.
edit: just re-read this post and it has 11 variations on the word 'feel' in it. Guess I'm doing a lot of feeling these days, maybe that's why I'm so tired all the time