Trying to correct my colossal screw-up
I am here because I am looking to repair my colossal screw-up. I cheated on my wife of 25 years. She caught me, and now we are trying to recover.
Over the last few days, as we have discussed my atrocious behavior, we have communicated more than I think we have in the last decade. Because of this, she is willing to consider an open relationship with the other woman, with me as the "fulcrum", as I believe it is called. She is willing to tolerate, and even admitted to being a little turned on by, the thought of me with another woman.
I am blessed by having the most wonderful wife in the world. The other woman, call her 'U' in deference to Noble's article, is just as amazing, because she is also willing to consider this arrangement.
I have discovered that continuing this arrangement with these women is extremely important to me, because I love them both. Each fills gaps that the other does not. If I can figure out how to make this work, I think I will be happier than I can ever remember being.
So I need your help. I realize that this arrangement will not work without meeting the needs of everyone involved. I want my wife to say, in six months, that this was one of the best things we have ever done. I want U to say the same thing. I want to make sure that they are as happy with this arrangement as I am. I love making my wife happy. I love making my U happy. If I can make them both happy at the same time, I will be in hog heaven. My ultimate goal here would be to end up with two equal wives, all of us living in one house.
I don't know if it is significant, but we are all in our 40's. As I said, my wife and I have been married for 25 years. My U was married for about 20 years before divorcing 5 or 6 years ago.
So what pitfalls do I need to look out for? What issues will I need to address first with these women? They have not met each other yet, other than to read each others' texts to me. My wife said that she has a good impression of U because U, in a series of texts to me, tried to take the blame for the affair and apologized for hurting my wife, even though she had never met her. After the way I behaved towards my wife, I deserve to be kicked in the nuts. Multiple times. Instead, this wonderful woman is willing to consider a relationship with the other woman, in order to make me happy. I want her to be just as happy. I want U, whom I've known since the 5th grade, to be just as happy. Both women want to meet each other, so I was going to set something up for this weekend.
Last edited by stonebreaker; 05-03-2013 at 03:22 PM.
Reason: adding sig