1. You're being honest with your feelings, which is good.
2. Controlling others actions to manage your insecurities is generally not a good idea.
3. Jealousy is either a phobic response or it is a warning that something is wrong with the relatiinship. Only you can determine which it is. If it is phobic, then you must decide if you want fear to control your relationship. If you were afraid of flying, would you make your SO always take the bus?
Me: 48 - Married, straight, male
Shiela: My wife.
Suzanne: My FWB
Adam: Shiela's LDR