A few years ago I was with a woman that challenged my ideas surrounding consent. My partner and I started dating her and all seemed well in the first flush of NRE-ness. My partner and I subscribe to only being in equal, loving, and honest relationships. This may come as a "duh!" to most of you but it took us a while to figure out those tree magic words. Anyways, this woman seemed cool but over time her "isms" came out to play. I found myself judging her and beginning to think that she was impaired enough by a variety of reasons that she needed my "help". Yikes. She would want to go and do something or engage in intimacy and it became a pseudo-shrink session to delve deep to see if she really wanted to do said activity. It was exhausting. It was also not equal, the honesty went out the window, and love gasped twice and died. I like what others have said so far in being free to fuck up and let others fuck up around us. I find I learn the most from fucking up and I find too that I can forgive myself and others after remembering my past fuck ups. So now my guide is that I take my partner(s) word at face value and do my very best to not look any deeper. Communication is the currency in my relationships not mind reading. I forget this on a regular basis. But hey, I'm free to fuck up!