Our date night was pretty great. My hubby's the perfect gentleman and sweet when he wants to be. I was wondering when or if that side would ever make an appearance again.
He sensed that I was feeling down and asked me if I wanted to talk about it over ice cream or froyo. That became our "thing" years ago. I can remember all the late night frozen yoghurt runs. Initially I said no, but I later said yes. I am happy I did. I opened up to him about all that I have been feeling this past week. I still say being vulnerable sucks. I am viewing it like a necessary evil. It helped that he was not trying to be my Superman and heal all of my problems. He listened, and that is priceless. Oddly enough, I felt better after talking to him. I managed to crack into some of his thoughts, as well. It was nice to talk about something other than all of our issues. I think I forgot how to laugh and even smile. Laughter really is good for the soul.
We have agreed to go ahead and start the search for another therapist in our new city. We are still on the fence about whether or not to continue the sessions here. I am just not sure if it will make much difference if we stop now. I know there is a high likelihood of regression, but in all seriousness, we have years worth of damage to repair and years worth of habits to undo. This is not going to be an overnight or remotely easy process. Is there a chance of us doing more damage? Possibly, but I am sure we will figure out what is for the best.
We have already compiled a list of six possible people in the region, and today, we are going to set-up initial consultations. He has three, and I have three. Team work. We are on the same page for once, and after discussing it, we have agreed to spend our week in Oz. We are devoting the first couple of days to checking out our six choices. I am happy with that, and I appreciate the effort he is putting forth. It seems like he cares about our marriage.
It was an idea in the back of my mind, but surprisingly, it was him who presented the idea. He thinks we need to find a therapist closer to our new home, and face to face interaction sets me at ease. After talking over dinner and froyo, he also knows that I am very anxious to see the renovations. It is nice to have some type of agreement in place about something other than relationship issues. Do not get me wrong. I trust the people on-site, but it will help us breathe a little easier if we can physically see the progress now. Matt saw it in mid-late March, but it is now May. It is important to know if our new home will be move-in ready by July. If not, we have to have somewhere to live until they finish.
I know this was a big job, so patience, understanding, and constant communication have been pertinent every step of the way. I will not complain because we got a steep discount, and they have been working hard. The previous owner was in construction, and he offered to use his connections to help us out. We are grateful for that.
As far as our trip, we have agreed on 31 May to 9 June. We talked to my parents, and they are joining us for this lovely unexpected holiday. We are treating them, since they are giving up a week of their time to help us out. I love my parents. I just could not imagine leaving my children so far away without at least one of us being close. They have agreed to come, but they have made it very clear that the week is still about us. They are still watching our children just as it was planned before, and we are not to worry about anything but each other. To make sure of that, we are staying at different hotels, and there will be limited joint plans. That was not my idea.
We just feel like we need something a little deeper than a marriage counsellor, so our search efforts are going to be a bit more extensive. We found a Psychotherapist, who has extensive experience with poly relationships and marital counselling. If this person has to be part of our lives for months or years, it has to be someone we both get on well with and have a connection with.
All in all, I am feeling much better after talking to Matt and glad we have some type of plans in place.
I am off to bed. I need to get some rest, so I can face another day. I am up this late because it is another 10 AM day. Here is to today being better than the rest of the week.