Thank you for affirming that I have the right to ask that. I am doing a lot of soul searching today and realizing that I have a pattern of not being firm and explicit enough about.what I need and then feeling like a victim when I don't receive it. Or feeling like I don't have a right to demand.or.insist upon things but then feel slighted when they don't happen.
Like I was driving H to.work this morning and she said something along the lines of this issue really.being about sex with G and that I don't really care about sex with her. In reality I just don't feel that I can ask for more sex with her. Her response was 'well, why not?'
I guess all these things stem from deep fears of rejection and failure, and from past emotional trauma from giving too much and not getting back, which is something I am careful not to do now. But I kind of AM doing it now aren't I. And I do have a choice not to.
Hey poly forum, thanks for being a sounding board for my introspection. And thanks nycindie for responding despite your prior frustration with me.for.not running for the hills.
Still working on what to say but.I've got a couple talking points now.