Originally Posted by flowerandroses
Ah ah ah. It's nice to be able to laugh a little around all of this. Thanks for you posts !
So among the people who might be reading this thread, are there someone who started to consider poly but were worried they might not handle well their spouse with someone else ????
How did you do to get over it ?
my husband and I started out swinging (after being monogamous for about 18 years). We never actually decided to make the transition from swinging to poly... it is something that happened naturally for us, because the swinging was no longer satisfactory for both of us.
But as it happened, my husband met someone to have a 'real' relationship with much sooner than I did, and that has been hard. Heck, after 4 years, it's still hard sometimes, even though I have now BF's too.
I was initially not jealous about the sex at all, but I was jealous about him spending lots of time with her, doing 'relationshipy' things. Like I once flipped when he took her to our regular bar... stuff like that!
As their relationship developed, sexual jealousy did come up sometimes. Because when I knew he loved her, I knew the sex meant more to him too, and that was not always easy.
The best advice I can give you is to keep talking and not think about ANYTHING that it's not worth mentioning.
My turningpoint about jealousy came when I truly realized that he is his own person, and that he is free... like I am free. Now, the interesting thing is my BF has started dating, and I'm experiencing the whole jealousy thing all over again. There's always more to learn.
oh and never start a difficult conversation when you've had a couple of drinks. That has gotten me in a lot of trouble a number of times...