Originally Posted by Librarian
Thank you, Nancy. You don't know how good it feels (or maybe you do) to hear from another human being on the subject and to finally be out of my own head.
My wife and I talk constantly. Sometimes it is very sexual. Sometimes it is just about openness and honesty. Sometimes it is about her frustrations with him . We talk and talk a lot. Usually to the point where I feel like I have taken out some of the fun, or I talk myself into a stupor. She is such an amazing wife and partner. I just don't want to lose here to anyone else, despite her reassurances that she could never be without me either.
I've been reading around a lot and am getting some good tools for coping with those feelings. I get that this doesn't make her love me less. I get that I have qualities that she needs, loves and desires. I get it all.
Still, it's just really hard. I'm sitting here, just dying for her to call and tell me what happened. That everything is ok. That she had fun. That she never wants to do it again. Anything.
I'm generally a very anxious person, and it wasn't until now just how much I realized those traits would cross over with this.
I understand... My hubby reassured me that I would not be replaced by his gf. I never was threatened by her in that aspect, but there were some other things regarding her that we had to work through.
Just pointing out a fact here, but being monogamous doesn't necessarily mean that you would be with her for the rest of your life. The divorce rate alone proves that theory. I do though understand your fear of losing her.
There is a difference in "knowing" something in your head, and "KNOWING" it in reality.. been there done that once, and I'm sure it will happen again. But knowing the coping skills is the key.. I got through it once and I will get through it again..