Originally Posted by Magdlyn
I work as a nanny, only part time, and sometimes the little girl I've been caring for these past 2 years has called me Mommy, or even Daddy, by mistake. Common occurance-- heck, sometimes after spending time with my ex h's brother, I'd call my son by his uncle's name. I think those names are stored next to each other in my brain.
When my little girl (that I am nanny to) calls me Mommy or Daddy, we both giggle and she corrects herself. If I and her parents had *reinforced* it, I'd be another "Mommy" to her. But of course, it is corrected. There doesn't need to be coercion involved! That sounds so sinister.
Her "purpose" as a close family friend, OSO of your wife, is to LOVE your children. What is more important than loving and caring for the little ones? Has she ever played with them? Fed them a bottle or a meal? Read them a story? Taken them for walks? Rocked them to sleep? That is her "purpose."
Your feelings are definitely in the way!
Your feelings are in the way, and you are using your children, who love Si, as pawns in your game of power chess with your wife and your former lover. That is just all kinds of wrong.
I hear everything you're saying. I'm lacking the necessary empathy to give a damn about what she did in the past or the ability to care about her feelings. It's just not available.
I don't see the whole argument that I'm using my kids. I'm not using them to hurt her. She doesn't exactly cross my mind. Just like the old days. It's not a power struggle. They're not pawns in any game. I have just as much say as my wife does. When someone can prove that I'm harming my kids, I might reconsider. I don't mean some trumped up shrink telling me that what I am doing is wrong and will come back as soon as my kids are old enough to understand what it is that I'm doing "wrong."
Serious question. What should I do with my feelings?