Originally Posted by franchescasc
And for anyone who has been a secondary (hate the word btw) how does being a secret make you feel?
I am a secondary in a budding relationship (2 months) and we're not out. The other day my boyfriend and I were at Walmart shopping when one of his OSO's friends saw us and quite loudly asked what he was doing on this side of town.
I'm a fan of authenticity and living your life on your own terms. To me, if we are choosing to live like this, we should be able to do it out in the open.
We've had many conversations about what would happen if we are in the same place with overlapping friends.
For now, everything is cool. It's a delicate balance. However, I am not willing to live like this forever. Quite frankly, I don't think I could live like this for more than a year.
The only reason it is acceptable to me now is because we are still "dating" in my mind. We aren't committed. I'm not seeing anyone else, but I'm still feeling it out.
I should add that this is my first poly relationship, and that I prefer monogamy for myself.