Thank you, Nancy. You don't know how good it feels (or maybe you do) to hear from another human being on the subject and to finally be out of my own head.
My wife and I talk constantly. Sometimes it is very sexual. Sometimes it is just about openness and honesty. Sometimes it is about her frustrations with him . We talk and talk a lot. Usually to the point where I feel like I have taken out some of the fun, or I talk myself into a stupor. She is such an amazing wife and partner. I just don't want to lose here to anyone else, despite her reassurances that she could never be without me either.
I've been reading around a lot and am getting some good tools for coping with those feelings. I get that this doesn't make her love me less. I get that I have qualities that she needs, loves and desires. I get it all.
Still, it's just really hard. I'm sitting here, just dying for her to call and tell me what happened. That everything is ok. That she had fun. That she never wants to do it again. Anything.
I'm generally a very anxious person, and it wasn't until now just how much I realized those traits would cross over with this.