Thread: Matt's Thoughts
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Old 05-01-2013, 08:02 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
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Originally Posted by Matt View Post

As far as my kid [calling Si Mummy], I don't think that was an unconscious move. If it was, it would stand to reason that she'd do it with any female acquaintances of ours, my mates wives, and even the nanny. I can't shake the feeling of coercion or a planted idea. I don't know if that's my lack of trust that's making me question everything, but that feeling won't leave me. She's been around some of these people all of her life, and I've never heard her call anyone else mum. That's why it bothered me at first, and the fact that she's continuing a few years later hasn't helped.
I work as a nanny, only part time, and sometimes the little girl I've been caring for these past 2 years has called me Mommy, or even Daddy, by mistake. Common occurance-- heck, sometimes after spending time with my ex h's brother, I'd call my son by his uncle's name. I think those names are stored next to each other in my brain.

When my little girl (that I am nanny to) calls me Mommy or Daddy, we both giggle and she corrects herself. If I and her parents had *reinforced* it, I'd be another "Mommy" to her. But of course, it is corrected. There doesn't need to be coercion involved! That sounds so sinister.

I've dropped the title, and I still don't want her around. Aunt, special friend, godmother, aspiring mother of the year, or however it is titled, I see no purpose that she serves.
Her "purpose" as a close family friend, OSO of your wife, is to LOVE your children. What is more important than loving and caring for the little ones? Has she ever played with them? Fed them a bottle or a meal? Read them a story? Taken them for walks? Rocked them to sleep? That is her "purpose."

Could my feelings be in the way?
Your feelings are definitely in the way!

Your feelings are in the way, and you are using your children, who love Si, as pawns in your game of power chess with your wife and your former lover. That is just all kinds of wrong.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 62), dating... again!
Pixi (poly, F, 40) my darling nesting partner since January 2009
Master, (mono, M, 36), Pixi's Dom/bf since April 2013
Kahlo (my ex, 46)

Last edited by Magdlyn; 05-01-2013 at 08:04 PM.
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