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Old 05-01-2013, 07:18 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 1,646

Well that sounds encouraging. It doesn't sound like he has specific someone(s) in mind either. That being the case, my advice is (for him) to not get impatient about "finding someone". He may probably find a fair number of women who seem interested in him until they realize he has a wife who knows he is dating, is "ok" with it, still in love with/sleeping together, and no plans to leave the marriage, and they will say "not interested". He may find women who are ok with your/his open marriage who are cheating on THEIR partners. He may find women who are not cheating but only want NSA/casual sex instead of "a relationship".

Try to be aware that just because the two of you "decided" and/or "agreed" to do this, that neither entitles nor guarantees that you will "succeed". Even if you DO find out "where all the poly people are", it doesn't mean you will have anything in common other than the fact you're nonmonogamous (think about it - if you are a straight, monogamous woman (let's say you are single for the sake of discussion), are you attracted to every straight, monogamous, single man you meet just because you're both "available" for a relationship? And of the people who appear to be compatible dating partners, how many times have people gone on a few dates, started to get to know each other beyond the initial "omg you like pepperoni pizza with extra cheese??? Pepperoni pizza with extra cheese is *my favorite* omg you like teh buttsecks? *I* like teh buttsecks!!! We must be SOUL MATES... Etc." ...then realized that you can't stand the person's ego, lack of ambition, or the person turns out to be a liar or a thief and hid it well until it's too late, etc.

Anything that can go wrong in a monogamous dating scenario can go wrong in a nonmonogamous one. Plus, you have the added factor of one more person, so there will be other things to consider such as time management, jealousy management, and communication.

Don't rush, don't lose your head, and don't set "goals" that are not within a reasonable chance of attaining through your own efforts. In other words, if you MUST set goals (i myself am not a goal-setter), set ones like, "one year from now i want to be in better shape so that i feel attractive and confident when meeting new ladies". Don't set goals like, "one year from now i want to have a relationship with a woman who will eventually move in with me and my wife (NOT "my wife and I") and be part of our family blah blah blah etc."

You dig what i say up in there?

Last edited by BoringGuy; 05-01-2013 at 07:21 PM. Reason: High-functioning troll.
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