My husband and I have been together for 7 years, married 2. We have a 2 yrs old, and I should probably say I love my husband from the bottom of my heart.
I have always known he had desires, and even though we've had our share of fun, tried swinging a couple times, went to clubs, we share a lot of fantasies, our son's birth has almost wrecked us up.
It's been a very rough 18 months, almost no intimacy anymore, the total mess.
After almost calling it quits, after terrible up and downs, I think we're finally back on the track of being great together, but the core of getting good together again has been honesty and my husband announced he no longer believes in monogamous relationships and hasnt for a while.
Now we are trying to discuss, be honest, and find a way to both be happy in our own respective lifestyles.
We are still in the early stages, but from what my husband told me, I initially thought he was just wanting "sex complements" as I used to call them.
But over the last few days, we've had new and intense conversations about his desires, and I have come to understand, he is more hoping to have me and our family as his strong core and the most important thing in his life, but he would like to have girlfriends on the side. Not only for sex like I had thought and hoped. He is still unsure of how far he would like to push those "complements" of our life.
He is perfectly fine with me doing the same, but as much as I would like to feel the same for myself, to maybe feel less insecure or abandoned, I have to admit, so far the thought doesnt interest me more than that.
I love to flirt, but not necessarily to act on my flirts (by flirt I mean talks and borderline conversation giving a hint I might be open to more).
I have never acted on them for that matter.
And we both have been faithful until today.
From the threads I have read on the forum, I think as of today, what I'm looking at if I want to keep my life and the husband I love is me being monogamous but polyfriendly (?) so accepting my husband having complements on the side.
I am less worried about the sex part that the relationship that would begin, them sharing some laughs, some complicity. That kinda rips my heart out of my chest. This is the hardest part for me.
For now he has agreed to give us whatever time we need to figure out how we are together, given the past rough 18 months and I'm grateful for that. We are really getting closer due to all these talks and I think he's immensely grateful I am still here, listening to him and trying to ease into that new lifestyle I had never envisioned for us.
I have offered him to start going out together, regular night clubs, without our rings and pretend to the world we are just friends . Just to test the waters and see how I would react if we were to flirt with other people.
He seemed extremely pleased with the idea.
I love him so much, all of this is so confusing, but I know I'm ready to do a lot to make us work, because we know how to be really happy together and I dont see myself getting old with anyone else.
I would gladly appreciate your comments and views, remember it is all very new so I hope you wont be too harsh in your answers
Thank you for this forum.