Originally Posted by sterling119
My wife and I cannot speak from long term experience but we can tell you our relationship is working well so far. A long time friend of our who she actually had been sexual with a very long time ago needed a place to live and within a few weeks became the secondary in our relationship. We all get along well and she loves us both. Wife and I have been married over 20 years, we grew up with boyfriend ( we now call his second hubby). He has a job where he is only home weekends so that may make it a little more easy on our primary relationship but we are all excited when it gets later in the week for him to be back home. He has his own room with a private stairway into the kitchen so he has his own space. We are friendly (no he and I are not involved sexually) cuddle up on the couch with her and she adores the attention of 2 men. He and her have their private time normally on friday, sometimes saturday and sometimes sunday with them either going to our bed or to his room....works our about 50/50. They have what she says is great sex and some nice cuddle time as well. Her and I have all week together and some weekend days although since he is only home weekends he does get a bit more attention when he is here. I know it surly sounds like they are having fun when they are in one room or the other....lol. Once in a while I am gone the whole weekend and they have all of that time together to date, have sex and just enjoy eachother but that doesn't happen all that much for an entire weekend. So far no problems have come up and we all enjoy eachothers company. She is in heaven having 2 men who adore her and she loves us both. It may not work for everyone but it does for us so far. Granted we are only a few months into it and I am sure there will be problems from time to time but overall we have found poly to work well for us. Hope it does for you as well.
It does my heart good to hear of a live-in V working so well, with apparently so much compersion all around!
But perhaps the living together thing is working out great because you all have known each other for decades. Not mere months. The OP has known his wife's OSO for a couple years, but only very long distance, with a few visits. I still recommend OSO get his own place nearby for a year or so and see how it goes first. Err on the side of caution.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place. --Shaw
me: Mags, female, pansexual, 59, loving and living with
miss pixi, female, pansexual, 37