Hi and welcome,
Wow I just have to say you have a great command of the language
..I'm envious ...because this is my first language.
The only thing you can control in this is you. You say your reactions caused her to react which is causing this reaction etc, etc.
You wanted this, it finally happened but from the other side. You then reacted badly which caused your partner to react and now you think she doesn't have the right mind set. Im not sure but could you have control issues?
What happened in this situation that she approached this with monogamous view. You state that in some of your conversations that points or questions make her sound like a straight and mono person. What are those things?