View Single Post
Old 01-15-2010, 11:01 PM
lovefromgirl's Avatar
lovefromgirl lovefromgirl is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: The Great Soggy Northeast
Posts: 353

Rarechild's observation that giving 100% includes both darkness and light is valid for me; I forget sometimes that it's okay to share what hurts, and so I am reminded by my loved ones not to bottle it all up.

Originally Posted by GroundedSpirit View Post
1> Institute a policy that makes a course in "Relationships & Communication" mandatory before anyone would agree to license or perform said marriage. This course could also be implemented at secondary school level - even mandated for graduation. The schools have long failed now to educate our children in relative life skills anyway. A dual win.
This is brilliant. Make it a semester course, with the other semester being health education -- a fine pair.

Although there are other indiscretions that occur within relationships, they are in such small proportion and much more easily resolved as to be inconsequential to the discussion.
I'd say the betrayal of trust would hurt more, actually. I don't care which act a partner lies about; the lie itself is the real knife between the ribs. Do I like sexual fidelity? Sure. That's me, though. I have characters in a work-in-progress who don't care about it so much as long as it's all being talked about. In fact, one character regularly biffs off for a Friday night on the town, with the understanding that she's going to use protection and only go off with people who won't try to maim her. Her partner (later, partners) certainly don't mind.

When we have relationships that acknowledge that we love each other for more important reasons than the fact that we can sleep together and that if there's some particular sexual element we are incompatible on and are free to (responsibly) pursue that on our own-with full support of our partner(s), then the entire concept of "cheating" goes away.
Perhaps, as outlined above, the concept could be redefined in a way that doesn't stigmatise sexual freedom?
"I swear, if we live through this somebody's going to find their automatic shower preferences reprogrammed for ice water."

Refuge in Audacity { home of the post-raph stunner }
Reply With Quote