The trip was great, I really got a lot of reassurance about MD's feelings for me. We got to hold hands openly in a Wal-Mart lol. Super classy, but hey, we can't be open publicly where we live so this was a big deal and I was on cloud 9.
We've since had another threesome since we returned, and I was much more comfortable, and even left the room so the 2 of them could enjoy each other. We focused on MD, and she had a great time.
Today I'm battling the insecurities that are bubbling to the surface, reassuring myself since the 2 of them have done plenty of reassuring. I don't want to be the needy, co-dependent one.
I kind of want them to have alone time and get it out of the way so I can just deal with it and move on. Not sure if this is a bad idea or not.
Ultimately I love them both so very much, and MD really touches a part of me I didn't realize I needed touched. It's a great feeling, and extremely scary at the same time. I read on a thread somewhere here, it's like having my heart walking around outside of my body. But as a friend who was counseling me said, I could bail because of fear, or live it until I get there. I'm choosing living it until I get there. One battle at a time.
franchescasc-33, bi female, likely monogomish formerly in triad relationship with:
FJ-36, married 15 yrs
MD-35, gf for 8 months
Currently dating SM, male, 40, monogamous