It sounds like you already know it's your issue, not his problem. Good for you.
The way i put a stop to finding myself miserable in relationships was by deciding to only be involved with people whom i feel good about myself when i am with them. If i feel bad or if i feel like i'm doing things to stay in a relationship that it feels like i don't like the person i am becoming - it could be anything from fighting to putting up with things i'm not ok with, and other things - then i get out of it or don't get into it. Sometimes it helps to have the support of another partner to get you back to your baseline.