Originally Posted by BelleInconnue
I'm in a V triad with my boyfriend and his wife (wife and I are just friends). I live about an hour away from them at the moment because of my work situation but plan on moving closer in the near future. I get to see my beloved probably once a week. This is acceptable to me because logistically for the time being it is all we can manage. However, I know once I am living closer to them my beloved and I will see each other more often (which I am really looking forward to). I know it will be a balancing act because in addition, he and his wife have 2 young children under the age of 10, so time management will always be a factor. I'm just wondering from those of you in successful V triads (and I guess I am addressing the "hinge" member here), how do you manage your time between your two loves so that everyone feels satisfied? I'm new to poly and am curious. Thanks!
I am the hinge between my boyfriend and husband. My husband and boyfriend are friendly but that is about it.
My time is split 60/40 most weeks. I see my boyfriend on most of his days off. Either I will go spend that time with him alone at his house if my husband is available to watch our sons. If Butch is working then Murf comes and spends the night here (if a school day) or we (the kids and I) go to his house.. Plus I do not play the whole hierarchy game. I love both men equally.
For example this week I probably wont get to see Murf until Friday evening. He is off today and tomorrow. But I am feeling beat up after a bad food allergy episode so while I would usually want to see him. I am kind of blah. The kids and I will go spend this weekend at his house. Next week Butch is off Tues and Wednesday. Murf is off Wednesday and Thursday. So I will go over there Wednesday solo. Murf works that weekend. He is off Mon and Tues he will come see me one of those days. He is off that weekend and so is Butch so he will watch the kids so we can get some solo time over a long weekend.
My kids are 6yo and 10 yo. Summer will make things easier because the kids schedules wont have to be taken into account. But my relationship is kind of weird because my kids are involved and know who Murf is to me. I also do not play the whole hierarchy game. I love both men equally.