Originally Posted by AnnabelMore
I couldn't finish posting yesterday because I had to go to work. I can commiserate with you.I am in a v with a man who has a heterosexual monogamous wife. We keep our relationship discreet, out of respect for his wife, and because in our community being open about it could very well cost us our employment, so our intimate time together is limited to one day a week and an occasional overnight on weekends at this point, as I currently have roommates.To make matters worse, at this point he is my only partner (I am searching for a woman, but haven't found the right one yet), and I am a person who is used to and enjoys frequent sex, touch, and other acts of affection.
We recently went on a trip together with his wife. It was the best and worst time for us-being able to spend so much time together, but not being able to make intimate contact.Due to circumstances, we ended up not having sex for three weeks, and we were both pretty miserable.
On the trip,he really went out of his way to check in with me and his wife to make sure we were both doing okay.He seemed to be able to sense when I was having a very tough time at times (it's hard work to act like you are a casual friend in the presence of someone you love very much), and would find a moment and a private place to give me a hug and kiss and a few intimate words to reconnect.He did the same with his wife, which was awesome, as we both want her to know that I am not a threat to their relationship.
When we got back and life got crazy to the point we couldn't meet for our day, he texted me a lot and invited me to have lunch with him.He keeps assuring me he is in it for the long run, and that this situation is only temporary until I finish school and can get a place of my own.
Sometimes I miss him so much it physically hurts. It's not just the sex I miss-it's the emotional connection, the conversation,the feel of him, his smell,sleeping next to his warm body and waking up with him in the morning...I'm sure you understand.There have been times when I can't sleep for missing him.
Sometimes I wonder what ever posses me to be poly, lol, but I know that despite the difficulties, it's how I'm wired. My marriage ended because I finally realized I was the only one denying my bi poly nature. My ex had recognized it and demonized it (while hypocritically being a non monogamous cheater himself, and using my admission of my bi nature that I had never acted on as his excuse to cheat).My lover recognized it and encouraged me to embrace it,even though he admits sometimes the idea of me finding my other partner scares him, because he is afraid I will go away.
As if I could, lol. I didn't go looking for this guy, the Universe brought him to me.We have so many things in common it's scary. Yet we have enough differences to make life interesting.It's hard and frustrating at times loving him (I clean when I am frustrated, and my house is VERY CLEAN, lol), but I just can't NOT have him in my life, so I live for and cherish the moments.
Lol-and I have had phone sex for the first time in my life