View Single Post
Old 04-29-2013, 12:56 PM
Vixtoria's Avatar
Vixtoria Vixtoria is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 306

Originally Posted by Natja View Post
Along with the expanded forms of, "We want to add a woman to our relationship/marriage/love life" All three of which I have seen recently.

Which goes back to the thread discussion on privilege. Believe me, just as tired of this couple centric attitudes as anyone else but it does start to get pervasive. To the point where people bristle at couples, period. I get that a lot of it is probably new people that are worried about changes or damage to their marriage, but instead of taking that as a sign of something to work on before having other relationships, the default seems to be to keep things COUPLE.

I'm in a couple. Married 18 years. However, that means there is me, there is DH, and there is US. US don't date. I date. He might date. After so many years there is a habit in certain situations to slip into WE or US thinking. Dating really shouldn't be one of them. There are things that are just me, and are just DH. There are things that are just DC too! Now there are things that are WE = DH&I and WE = DC&I. There's even some things that are WE = DH&I&DC.

TL;DR Every couple is two individuals. When you lose site of that, you probably shouldn't be dating. You should be figuring out who the individuals are first.
Me: 40 pansexual poly.
DH: My husband of 21 yrs and father of 3 teen girls.
DC: LDR of +9 years/former
Reply With Quote