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Old 04-29-2013, 12:40 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is online now
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 6,367

Originally Posted by dingedheart View Post
What if you had the clarity of another relationship? Maybe that would have pushed it over the edge for you.
Well, although we'd tried poly in 1999-2000, it kinda blew up and we gave up on it. So, no, I didn't have the "clarity" of another relationship in our final 10 years together, as I have morals and do not cheat. But finally, I did get interested in this guy online, and even though he was 1000 miles away, we experienced a kind of love for each other. It only lasted 3 months, but the quality of the NRE did show me what was missing in my life with my husband.

But I didn't leave the husband FOR that guy, I left him for myself.

How many years did you try ?
Well, we were together 30 years. So, 30 years. But the swirling down the drain in earnest was the last 10 years.

Was your husband happy during that time ...were you ?
Sometimes we were happy, sometimes we weren't. I'd say I was happy in my relationship 60% of the time. Eventually I realized that wasn't often enough, and wasn't going to get better no matter how much more therapy we did.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 62)
Pixie (poly, F, 40) together since 2009
My bf Kahlo (single, poly-friendly, M, 45) since August 2017
Seeing Rick and Glori (MF partnered, both 33 and poly) since September 2017
Master, (mono, M, 36), Pixie's bf for 3+ years
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