Thread: BDsm
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Old 04-29-2013, 02:24 AM
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Hmm, what stands out about what I wrote that makes you say it is dissimilar to how most kinksters do online D/s?
"In this one blog several Dommes said they would never send nude pictures or explicit videos of themselves to a sub, because that would lower their position (and a sub wouldn't "deserve" it)."

In the kink circles I run in, it's not really a common thing to feign like subs are lowly creatures who don't "deserve" awesome, sexy things that would make them happy, or that being sexy or naked or vulnerable somehow "lowers" the position of a dominant person (to put this in context, Clay, who is very much the dominant partner in our relationship, has pole danced for me twice now). As such, I just don't imagine that that would be part of how those same people would do online D/s.

There are always different flavors to different subsets of subcultures, and there's nothing "wrong" with how the dommes you're talking about describe their version of play -- if it works for them and their partners then it is exactly the right thing for them -- I just don't necessarily think that it's warranted to assume that that's standard across the wider BDSM community, y'know?

Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
It is a very specific type of domination and submission, yes. But I am hesitant to reveal what it is and where the blogs are, basically because I realized that I have participated in something like it in my past (non-kinky) relationships, quite by accident. The ways in which the dommes describe why they are into it and how some of the elements of that power exchange appeal to them surprisingly resonated with me, in some way. So, I want to investigate it right now, without blabbering on about all of it just yet.

This is really unexpected - I am not saying I want to embark on it, but I find it intriguing. I have been told several times in my life that I would make a "good dominatrix" and would immediately say, "No way!" and then I read about this (which I'd never heard of before) and see a faint shade of it in my past, so... just exploration and trying to understand it and myself a little better right now.
That is totally valid, and I wish you the best!
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.

Last edited by nycindie; 06-16-2013 at 01:58 PM.
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