Your husband has threatened to kill you and your bf, and has almost hit you? ( I am wondering if he has already hit you.) Your bf is shady and dark, but you like it? What's going on here, woman? Do you have some kind of death wish? Are there drugs involved?
Where was your marriage when you began swinging to add spice? Already bored and out of love with each other then?
I fear for your safety. If your bf is worthy of ANYTHING, he will agree to a break while you sort your head out. Things sound very messed up here.
If you fear he will leave you if you don't, like, move in with him immediately, despite a 20 year marriage and kid(s?), he isn't worthy of you.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place. --Shaw
me: Mags, female, pansexual, poly, 59, loving and living with
miss pixi, female, pansexual, poly, 37