What exactly is NRE, actually?
There seems to be two interpretations of NRE going on here.
The one I ususally associate with poly is "I just met someone new and I'm head over heels, and I'm neglecting my existing partner(s) because this new person is so new and exciting!"
But some people seem to be interpreting it as "I just met someone new and I can't stop thinking about them and I'm really excited," which doesn't necessarily mean you're neglecting your existing partners.
I think I always assumed people meant the "neglect" version of it when they talk about "controlling NRE" etc. Because if you're not letting the rest of your life go to crap, what's wrong with getting really excited about someone new? Why should that need to be controlled?
“As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.” —bisexualbaker