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Old 04-28-2013, 03:18 AM
Polywife123 Polywife123 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 6
Default Wanting to leave my husband for lover

Ok so I've been married to my husband for 20 years. We started swinging about 3yrs ago to spice things up only..... the 2nd couple we met I was instantly attracted to the husband not necessarily physical or sexual immediately. There was just something about him I was drawn to. Anyway my husband didn't like the wife and I was so drawn to the husband I pushed my husband into allowing me to see him alone. This relationship resulted in a Polyamourous relationship and I fell in love. My husband W resented me and the guy, but wasn't ready to leave. The relationship lasted about 8 months and was highly charged sexually, emotionally, intellectually etc.... Although he has antisocial behaviors and has a dark questionable past. The relationship ended abruptly and my husband was happy although never forgave me. I suffered tremendously from the loss and tried to reestablish the relationship. To my surprise a year later he has taken me back. Things are different now. He is no longer married, although I still am. He lives an hour away and I can only see him once a week. I am trying to keep things in prospective but I want more:-( I feel like it is destined to be with this man. ..... like he is my soul mate. The feelings I have for him are deep. I know it seems crazy being his character is shady but I feel like I want to leave my husband who is good and patient to have a real relationship with this man. I don't know what to do? I feel pain when I'm not with him and I want to always be with him. Why are these feelings so difficult? I know everyone will advise me to leave this guy and stay with my husband but I feel like my husband is more of a friend than a lover and I don't think I would be with this guy again if it wasnt meant to be. Please help
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