A few thoughts:
1) I don't think it's fair to use the casual nature of the boy's relationship with your daughter as an excuse. I enjoy casual relationships/sexual friendships (arrangements that are fun without "going anywhere"), but I would like other people to understand that I value these connections and that I do have some emotions involved. Such a guy might not be my boyfriend, but he IS my friend.
2) It seems a bit silly to dismiss your daughter's involvement with this boy as purely casual (see above) while claiming you have serious love for him!
3) I wish someone would tell your daughter that her lover has the hots for her mom, so that at the very least, she can stop seeing him in your house.
4) Yes, there's an ick factor involved here and I'm trying to dissect why this seems so much ickier than someone wanting to date their sibling's ex. It's not just the age difference because we all think way younger/way older folks can be hot. What springs to mind from my undergrad anthropology classes is that cross-culturally (worldwide and throughout history) virtually ALL human cultures have strong taboos against sex with one's parent-like figures, which includes not just biological mothers/fathers but mothers-in-law/fathers-in-law and stepparents. This applies even when the "children" are consenting adults. Whereas in some cultures it would be normal for a man to marry two sisters (this is called sororal polygyny). But he could NEVER marry a mother & daughter!
5) On the other hand, in Ancient Greece, uncles frequently married their much-younger nieces, so whatever.
6) If it's not gross to get involved with your daughter's guy...what if your stepson were attracted to you? Would it be okay to have sex with him?
Single, straight, female, solo, non-monogamous.
Last edited by MeeraReed; 04-28-2013 at 01:54 AM.