Originally Posted by nycindie
The age difference is no big deal, really. It's the fact that he is or was your daughter's lover (think about it: his penis - in your daughter, then in you; in your daughter, then in you; repeat) that makes us all freak out and say "DON'T!!!"
Cindie, I am not freaking out, and I don't like having words put in my mouth, or emotions chosen for me.
If it's not the age difference, what is it? How often have we heard of a certain guy dating a girl for a while, but there are no real sparks, so they break up, but somewhere along the way, this guy's brother falls hard for the girl and vice versa, and they end up together (with or without the first brother's blessing)?
So, why not mother/daughter? If it isn't the age difference involved, what is it?
This is an interesting ethical question... and we are all trying to practice ethical non-monogamy. If the daughter knows her mom is poly, and knows mom prefers younger men, and she has never been head over heels for the guy in question, what is the problem? I am truly curious.
Heck, I had a bf once (I loved him but wasn't in love) and after I went off to college, he dated my sister and 1 of my bffs for a while. Heh. We all loved him.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
Mags, F, 60, poly-dating, loving and living with
miss pixi, F, 38
Punk, 41, M
Old Friend, gender fluid
Nick, 35, M (occasional lover)
Hippie, 25 (?)
Dark Wing, 45 (?)