Originally Posted by redpepper
n a sense I prefer to move away from the word and look at what to do with that knowledge.
When a couple goes out to find suitable partners
I like the "action-oriented" approach you suggest. It reminds me of something I used to suggest to people on a forum I used to moderate. there were some people who would complain that certain users had more "privilege" than others, in terms of the content of their posts, and when I'd ask them what they suggest be done about it, they would be all "Gee I'm not sure". To me, it seemed like just another way of trying to discredit someone via an ad-hominem method, when you can't really find anything wrong with their argument other than the fact that it doesn't align with your own.
To that end, one thing people can "do", which is often suggested in conjunction with advice given to "unicorn hunters" is to not date as a couple. Date separately, then take it from there. This is so often suggested on this site and elsewhere and is so often answered with, "but we agreed this is something we want to do TOGETHER. We are one person romantically, etc. etc." and on and on with a litany about how they THOUGHT about this for a LONG TIME and they KNOW this is what they want, we are all so unique, so special, we are the all-singing, all-dancing crap-of-the-world (that's from Fight Club, not from the fabulous Yours Truly™ this time)...
Is it REALLY that mysterious where the bizarre notion of "couple privilege" comes from? It shouldn't be, now that it's been spelled out for everyone yet again. Except this time I gave a suggestion, albeit not a new or original one, about something that can be DONE, I actually ANSWERED one of redpepper's questions, instead of trying to create a smokescreen about why her questions don't make sense or are irrelevant.
I invite others to outdo me.