Originally Posted by redpepper
Well, life's a bitch ain't it? Everything changes in one day when you have four partners. Really, could anything get more challenging? I have learned that the only place to turn is inward. Walk through all of it and hold myself closely. My boy helps. He is a steady and constant. Until he turns 13 and then even he will be unpredictable. Man I want to be off this roller coaster some days. I just want some nice partner that wants to be with me and me only and who I want the same with and settle into mono lala land for ever n ever. Poly sucks ass, mono is better.
Spending the day in bed to recap, reinvent my brain, cry it all out and put on my big girl panties so that I can walk in the world as a lone rider with four partners. I seriously don't know how you poly people do this. How have I been doing it? I feel no connection to anyone right now and wonder why I am bothering. I did when I was mono. Yet on it goes.... on it goes. On it goes.
You seem to have a lot of these moments lately, then you regroup and recharge. Are you past your limitations of quantity to be consistently satisfied without needing to have these negative feelings?
Or is this just a blog rant that's quickly dismissed once you're back to being satisfied? I ask that out of curiosity of the emotional roller coaster posts you've been putting out there in recent times - which are very, very different from when this blog started.