Excellent post RP. Tough questions indeed.
Person A gives 100% for 25 years. Person B gives 100% 10 years. Persons A and B develop other interests. Life happens. Shit happens. Needs go unmet. Affairs happen to meet needs......and on and on and on.
How many times have we all seen/heard/done that?
In an ideal world........yes, I'm dreaming.........People living a long term monogamous life have to want the same things, need the same things and deliver 100% of the time to eachother over the life of the relationship however long that may be. Realistic? I can count on one hand the number of people I've met like that in 50+ years. Who are we kidding?
How many of us are the same people we were 5, 10 or 20 years ago? How many of our spouses are? How realistic is it to remain so over 50-60 years as we live so much longer today than past generations? Is it safe to grow and drift apart a little, develop other interests and meet ones needs in other places, or.......must we remain tied to the hip like siamese twins into eternity??????
Can we learn from affairs, yes. Can relationships heal, move on? Yes. But won't the same things just happen again if we aren't having our needs met effectively? What if our partner can't or won't or isn't interested in meeting our needs any longer? What if divorce is out of the question?
My God, RP......I've asked more questions than you have and maybe even taken your post off task, I'm sorry.