I dunno, I DO think there are some things that are gender-specific. But maybe it's not exactly a gender thing,because come to think of it, some of the GAY men I've known have been more likely to report feeling the sort of miserable/tormented side of NRE than the straight men have.
And actually, my last BF was bisexual, and he sometimes talked about a former male lover of his in those sort of longing terms. But I never heard him describe feeling that way about any female lovers. With women, he said all his relationships were those friends-first kind of slow burn relationships that morph from a friendship into something more.
Maybe (some, not all) men are just better at compartmentalizing things... (lol, penis butterflies? That's funny that someone actually said that! But i like it) men seem better than women at putting aside strong feelings instead of wallowing in them.
I am single at the moment, and so I'm taking some time to think about what kind of man would actually make me happy. Men who are really chilly and detached don't appeal to me. I prefer a little emotional recklessness... people who wear their hearts on their sleeve. Emotional courage, maybe.