I'm glad to hear that you and Flower are working towards a new path of honesty and communication. The communication part, coupled with this honesty of course, is a sure way to a happy marriage. I have experienced much of the same brutal self inflection and honesty that you are faced with now- while I have not cheated on either of my wives, there was a point in our relationship where I felt like I could not be honest with them and it bred nothing but trouble.
I do wish you both the very best of luck in your journey together.
If ever you need advice I, as I'm sure many on here will, will be more than happy to share our experiences with you and your wife.
Me- Linkin Park- the husband. I am the youngest, fast paced and admittedly full of issues.
Nina Simone- our wife- slow, gritty, and sexy like a smoky piano bar and a glass of brandy.
Led Zepplin- our wife - a rocker little tomboy that loves with everything. All she's got or nothing at all.