Originally Posted by Emm
Part of the problem may be that the word has different meaning in a casual or conversational context than it does in a sociological context.............
If someone feels you're accusing them of deliberately putting people down in order to gain advantage for themselves when they've done no such thing it's no wonder they become defensive
Definitely, I have been caught by that before so in that last explosive case I made sure to go on to define the context so as to make sure they knew exactly what I meant. Alas, I was told that I was patronising her by assuming she did not know and doesn't matter because it is offensive anyway.....
I think she was lying through her teeth but never mind, it is all water under the bridge now.