Annabel: Yes, I do see patterns in relationship forums for sure; it seems like a lot of that is centred around inexperience, the loss of ideals and having people's limitations pushed way beyond comfort zone.
I have a lot of respect for the way you do poly, and totally hear what you're saying - it helps it make a lot more sense to me to have those quotes, as it provides context for a theory.
BG: Hell no, there is no attempt at justifying a lack of integrity in partners, ever. Everyone has unique experiences in poly; isn't learning/growing/becoming aware on a more and more subtle level of relationships what it's all about?
Emm: "Part of the problem may be that the word has different meaning in a casual or conversational context than it does in a sociological context.
Just as non-scientists often equate the word "theory" with a wild-assed guess rather than as an explanation based on observation, experimentation and reasoning that has been tested and confirmed as a general principle helping to explain and predict natural phenomena, "privilege" is casually understood to be a special right either gained unearned through birth or by deliberately stomping all over those less fortunate, whereas in a more academic context it can simply mean accidentally having an advantage that others accidentally lack.
If someone feels you're accusing them of deliberately putting people down in order to gain advantage for themselves when they've done no such thing it's no wonder they become defensive. Unfortunately the English language is imprecise in just enough places to allow that sort of miscommunication."
This perfectly sums up the reason for me creating this post. Exactly what I was reaching for, but couldn't grasp - thank you!
Last edited by CherryBlossomGirl; 04-26-2013 at 12:55 PM.