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Old 04-26-2013, 09:55 AM
Cleo Cleo is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 470

Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Yes, married people have privileges. Not all married people lord those privileges over single people. Couples who have been together a long time have a rhythm and mutual understanding, but is that a privilege? I would not wish to get involved with a man who is in another relationship that he holds higher and more important than the one he has with me, as I prefer egalitarian poly, but I would call that a couple-centric attitude, not "couple privilege." I think that some people are specifically talking about veto power when they cry couple privilege. And while, yes, I would walk away as fast as my legs could take me if a guy told me his wife or gf had veto power, and I myself have used the term "Holy Dyad" to refer to couples who have these sorts of couple-centric relationships, I don't go crying about privilege. I just think it's unnecessary.
This. It's about couple-centrism.. putting yourself as a couple in the center, instead of yourself as an individual. Couple-centric couples tend to act 'priviledged' though.. or maybe 'entitled' is the more correct word? like they are entitled, have the right, to certain privileges?

I'm married, but couple-centrism makes me want to run. And not just in poly situations. Mono couples can be infuriatingly couple-centric as well.
Cleo - forties straight female
Ren - husband of 20 years
Bo - BF of 1+ year
Lou & Jane - Ren's girlfriends
Lin - Bo's other GF
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