Thread: BDsm
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Old 04-26-2013, 03:22 AM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Hey everybody,
I came across an interesting blog and did a little reading about a certain kind of domination which got me curious about something, so I thought I'd post a question here. I know I've read on this forum that people have been, or know others who have been, in D/s relationships that are totally online.

How does that work? I admit that totally online relationships of any kind mystify me for many reasons - but to dom someone that way would seem even more challenging. I am aware that pros do this sort of thing online and charge subs for their various services - and I imagine there is a lot of web-camming going on. But what about real Doms and Dommes who are not pros? In this one blog several Dommes said they would never send nude pictures or explicit videos of themselves to a sub, because that would lower their position (and a sub wouldn't "deserve" it). How do they develop the relationship, dominate, enforce their contracts, etc.? And how would they know the subs are really who they say they are?

If you or anyone you know has an online D/s thing going on that isn't professional, I hope you share the logistics of it and how it is managed and maintained. Just so curious - I had to ask!
So, what was this blog? Sounds like a very particular set of people, and not necessarily representative of the way the majority of kinky folks might do long-distance D/s relationships.

I know that, for myself, I started developing a relationship with my new boyfriend/dom -- including photos, names, intimacy, orgasms on both sides, and a fair amount of D/s -- through online correspondence before we met in person. If, for some reason, we'd never been able to meet in person, and yet had still wanted to carry on a relationship, I don't see any reason that it would look different from any other online relationship or LDR... it'd just be kinky.

Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Also, do you think anyone gets into domming in order to gain confidence and develop leadership skills, or is it usually just something they are naturally skilled at?
I'd actually say that, for more of the people I've known, it starts with the urge -- the desire to dominate. The person who feels that desire is then forced to gain confidence and develop leadership skills in order to become skilled at this thing that they badly want to do. As they do it more, it helps them build their confidence and leadership ability alongside their skills in a nice positive feedback loop.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
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