Originally Posted by nycindie
I came across an interesting blog and did a little reading about a certain kind of domination which got me curious about something, so I thought I'd post a question here. I know I've read on this forum that people have been, or know others who have been, in D/s relationships that are totally online.
How does that work? I admit that totally online relationships of any kind mystify me for many reasons - but to dom someone that way would seem even more challenging. I am aware that pros do this sort of thing online and charge subs for their various services - and I imagine there is a lot of web-camming going on. But what about real Doms and Dommes who are not pros? In this one blog several Dommes said they would never send nude pictures or explicit videos of themselves to a sub, because that would lower their position (and a sub wouldn't "deserve" it). How do they develop the relationship, dominate, enforce their contracts, etc.? And how would they know the subs are really who they say they are?
If you or anyone you know has an online D/s thing going on that isn't professional, I hope you share the logistics of it and how it is managed and maintained. Just so curious - I had to ask!
Also, do you think anyone gets into domming in order to gain confidence and develop leadership skills, or is it usually just something they are naturally skilled at?
My online dom was back in the days of IRC, when there was no readily available way to transfer pictures. We would meet in a chat room, and have sessions. It was wildly sexual and liberating for me, and he enjoyed having someone who was so willing. I suppose I could have been faking and he wouldn't have known about it, but I didn't fake. I did everything he told me to, without question - that was our agreement, and I thought about him a lot in my day to day life. For me it was more intellectual than anything else, and *I* chose to make it physical.
For me, domming is a way of using my confidence and authority to bring pleasure to a sub. It's a role, and it's fun - but I'm a switch, so being a sub can be really fun too. I think being a dilligent and obedient sub gives me a standard to hold my subs to when I switch. It's good for my leadership skills because I have a place in my life where someone cannot say no to me (unless they use their safe word, of course), but it's totally different, as I would NEVER manage my staff from an 'on high' place - that's no way to build a team, LOL. In that same breath, I think that my style of real-life management adds something to my sub's experiences - I can spot their shortcomings as a sub and completely and utterly capitalize on it - I am used to spotting weaknesses in a team and working to strengthen them, so challenging a sub in a really psychologically taboo area is easier for me.