So I'm new to poly relationships and the first person I was with since my husband and I decided to act on how we've been feeling is leaving me all kinds of loopy in the heart/brain.
This person (M) is someone I've been attracted to for a few months and my (apparently obvious) attraction to him is what prompted my husband and I to explore polyamory. My husband has been in poly relationships when he was younger, so he's more comfortable with the dynamics. I am comfortable with the dynamics as well, but the person in question apparently is not.
That didn't stop him from becoming sexually involved (no intercourse) with me, and then backing away, and getting sexually involved (no intercourse) with me again, and then deciding he wants to put this relationship "on hold" because he's in a "weird place". Oh and we finally had intercourse with me AFTER putting this on hold, makes out with me last week, and now has a date with a girl we both know, who I get the feeling isn't into the whole poly thing. I feel like an idiot for even going after him.
I haven't dated in four years since meeting my husband, but I know when someone is jerking me around/doesn't know what he wants so my emotions are collateral damage while he figures stuff out.
Like if being polyamorous isn't your thing, that's cool. But don't be all wishy washy about it. Just because I'm married, doesn't mean that rejection doesn't still hurt. And do you need to flirt right in front of me??? That's not nice.
Is this normal for you guys or did I just pick a lemon?